Friday, June 2, 2016

thank you, more than words can describe.

I ended up losing my wah job over stress, again.  It was rained to the point my roof gave up, and it wasn’t very old. I have a two story, with the second story being considered a flat roof… seems it got bad wind damage and it lifted that and much of this rain came straight into the insulation, walls, etc and made the ceiling cave in while I was working online… just in time for a fussy customer to call in and be a beech to me … I didn’t go that extra mile for her, I simply asked her to do a normal thing while I sat here shaking in my seat thinking the entire house was about to come down on me and my dogs were so scare they wanted in my lap … the kitchen flooded downstairs too.  The very next morning, this company that I’d worked as temp seasonal for almost a year had a HR person call me.  When I saw the caller id, I thought, hummm, maybe they are finally going to do that perm position offer they called me here for afterall and I answered it, only to find that they were term’ing me for “hanging up on this customer” instead and not being the agent they intended,  As if … even the supvr I had liked got real cold to me, saying they’d sent out pages to print out so this wouldn’t happen, as if all was okay here even though I was saying it wasn’t okay here – hello!! storm alert!!  No one could help due to this one nasty lady who didn’t give a chit that the program didn’t load and I didn’t have a clue what number she dialed in on so I could force the screen to pop while my own home was collapsing around me amid the storm of the century. I find it totally cruel and unusual punishment that a human can act like this to another and get away with it but this is the third time this has happen – you just pick up the phone, call any place you have done business with and say “she was just so rude to me I will never do business with you again!” and they terminate the agent whether it was YOU being the nasty or not.  Businesses are scuffling to survive this economy and doing it badly – nevermind about the agent just trying to make a living on minimum wage out there. KARMA exists and will bite you in the ass, eventually.

So I had a good cry and am still sick over all I drank (my ex-husband had brought me a couple of half gallons when he went to the liquor store as his friend had emptied all mine during his binge) … I’ll start job searching when I can get me back together cause right now, I just feel very betrayed yet I was told I can reapply in 6 months…. hummm – I just had major surgery on my mouth to get all my upper teeth out and implants in (because I’ve had an infection for 2 years that antibiotics couldn’t cure), the roof lifted, has a hole in it,  the ceiling caved in, and now has a tarp over it, and I can reapply in 6 months. I’ve got an appointment for a checkup regarding my report from the tests on the carotid artery which they mentioned they felt I needed stints in the legs and a good cleaning in the neck soon,  and all I asked the lady for was the phone number she called so I could help her and she flat told me off like I was absolutely from another planet yet they terminate me for thanking her for calling and asking her to call back while my nerves unraveled,  and I didn’t “lose it & retaliate at her”.  At least I didn’t get electrocuted or have my hearing blasted when lightening hit the tree out front because this is what all was going on as that woman was telling me “well, you answered as blah blah blah, you should know your own phone number …”  … I think I need some time to think this over.

Yeah, the hell-froze-over mess is hitting Dallas and a lot of odd things are happening…. many are moving that didn’t plan on it.  Houses are selling real fast and people are running.  I’ve not seen an ark yet but it wouldn’t surprise me.  I’ve had an issue with my den flooding for years but I can proudly say – it has NOT FLOODED in my den this year.  I’ve carried bags of sak-crete and put that down myself, it is now dry back there. It won’t be long until I will have it leveled again.  The ground had just gone somewhere, I’ve no clue where, and become unleveled in one area where the concrete slab had broken.  After I had the room rebuilt, I started correcting some issues, one at a time, like that area now has great drainage pipes installed so water doesn’t stand at the backdoor during horrible rains, it drains away from the house…. one of my projects will also be to fix the fence that a neighbor tied on to and bent my chain link fence, almost pulling it over into his yard…he ignores repairing anything of mine he destroys or damages.  Reporting him to the police for damaging my place hasn’t done a thing except get a window shot out of a vehicle here.  Telling the police the other neighbor is building or did build their fence in the causeway and is causing damage to my fence on that side didn’t do anything either.  What does the city do except tax you? They have compliance people drive around on a regular basis buggin you over ivy growing on fencing … total waste of my tax dollars.

A few of weeks ago, I saw another doppleganger at my front door, this time selling magazines. I know of 2 who look just like me. This one looked just like my son that I have a restraining order on.  He had assaulted me Dec 13, 2014 after a 4 year long telling me he had a stalker that was driving him nuts and he never was very good at handling bad stress, he finally broke and really hurt me badly by hitting me and knocking me into the fireplace with his fist. then going into his room and getting his gun and shooting up the living room.  That same stalker texted me several times over these past months about what is going on and how I should be happy now… I’ve told the police but she seems to be impervious to being stopped, maybe this is what got to him. This outburst made one of my dogs have a heart attack and die.  My spot where he hit me still hurts yet the doctors say it is just a bone bruise and will heal. The items he destroyed include my Mom’s oil painting made when I was 5 years old – there’s a bullet hole in it now due to ricocheting bullets.  He’ll be serving jail time for assault with a deadly weapon so at least she can’t get to him for awhile.  The guy at the door looked exactly like my son, got my dogs barking loudly while I was working online, and I had to make my mute line so I could say STOP! and that I did not want to buy anything…. I heard him say, this is a mistake … and he left.  I’ve had to put up signs on my property NO TRESPASSING and NO SOLICITATIONS just to keep it quiet around here and people still ignore them.  No one respects others anymore.

I’ve really missed the Church ladies group for traumatized mothers. I got to attend a couple of sessions then Adelaide (99 yr old friend) started calling me often to come help her.  Her daughter (my age, late 60s) would run an errand and Adelaide would panic for no reason.  The woman can’t be left alone with a phone but for safety reasons, needs it closeby (doctor says demensia also).  She has to have a babysitter now as ridiculous as that sounds.  She likes being a diva.  I”ve taken them to doctor appointments because my car is big enough for the wheelchair and easier to get in and out of than Jean’s.  All their house issues culminated into Jean deciding on just selling to eliminate the pressure so now she is looking for a place for them to live, and move within 6 weeks.  They’ve lived there over 50 years.  Seems Adelaide never repaired anything and now the house is showing major support beam cracks so it is needing real foundation help.  I suggested to Jean that she repair but she can’t wait to leave this house and get into a condo or something like that.  I would be painting n such but she’s not me.  I’m getting sunk in projects here and dust up past my eyeballs so who am I to suggest?  I just drive the car to doctor appointments and bring treats … I’ve sat and listened to those ladies whine about how their kids didn’t want contact with them and wondered what the magnet thing part was all about.  They’re desperate for their kid to smile at them and mine tried to kill me in my own home… I wondered what I was missing so I want to hear what this psychologist who speaks at these meetings has to say about all the family communication values gone astray.  It’s like a continued education program to me except I don’t care about those rich ladies grown kid’s not wanting to spend every minute with their moms instead of holding down a job and raising their own kids while not have a lot of time to talk with them… what is the matter with these women and their ability to not let go?  Do they not know they’re squeezing the life out of another human?  to love is to let go …and watch it grow.  I was watching my son grow in my home when he began to act cruel & hostile toward me.  Shock is what I felt.  Bought insurance for him so he could go to the doctors yet he kept saying he was too busy even though I saw him have trouble walking like many times I had.  He had been injured on the job and his attitude toward them became very unhealthy no matter how I tried to reason with him. I heard others offer guidance and he got more distance and hostile.  My ex-husband said he was blaming me because I was the one who found the job for him.  It was a big step up from anything he’d ever done before but he was smart and had the ability the job required.  I didn’t know he was overqualified and co-workers would persecute him for that, and they did. He did have an inferior complex, like his stepfather and his own father.  He’ll have to overcome this on his own now.  I won’t be a punching bag, it is not okay.

I miss … and there is nothing I can do to go back to a time when there were humans with manners and laughter in life.  If I find a real time capsule, I promise I will share it because I am positive I am not the last living soul to feel this way, I am just a ‘ole recluse writing my thoughts down that someday may become a book.

Smell the rose …



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